VALENTINE'S DAY (and other "womanly" Occasions!

Okay! This is a bit of a rant and by way of this some motherly (and wifely) advice to my sons and especially to my husband!

This past Valentine's Day was, once again, a bit of a disappointment. After 44 yrs. of marriage (no! that's NOT a current photo!) my husband still doesn't "get it" and from what I understand--neither do my two sons!

A fellow I know recently told me he told his wife, "tell me what you want me to say and write it down and I'll say it. Otherwise, I have no earthly clue what you want me to do!" Well, here it is! I'm saying it and writing it down!

Of course, Valentine's Day is a "Hallmark Holiday"--I DON'T CARE! So are birthdays and even Christmas for that matter.

Of course, men think differently than women--I DON'T CARE!
Every once in a while, you men need to put yourselves aside and at least TRY to think like a woman on at least a few occasions during the course of a year! These occasions are--and this list is not all inclusive!: Her Birthday, Your Anniversary--if appropriate!, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day (if appropriate) and Christmas. Is that so hard?

Two of these are particularly important (spelling it out here!) her birthday and Valentine's Day!, Add in your anniversary and Mother's Day if needed and never forget her on Christmas.

Is this a lot to remember? I THINK NOT! Why not? Because it really doesn't take that much effort on your part if you care about her at all.

First of all, think back to when you first met. What attracted you to her? What made her stand out against the crowd to you? What made you respond to her at all? What did you do to attract her to you? Did you approach her? Did you ask her out on a date? Did you write her a letter? What made you want to investigate the possibility of having her in your life?

What was your first date like? What did you do to convince her to go out with you again? What was it about her that made you want to see her (or write to her again)? What was it about her that made you think you wanted to spend more time with her and what did you do to convince her she should spend more time with you?

Think about all these things when being bombarded by all the newspaper and TV ads that tell you a special occasion is about to come up. What about her birthday? Did you remember it when you were dating? How did you find out when it was? Is she hinting that a special occasion is about to come up? Have you marked it on your calender, ipod, 3G, or whatever? Is she important enough in your life that you want her to continue being in your life? What does it take to make her WANT to continue being in your life?!

Almost any woman I know merely wants to be remembered in any way (however small) by her "significant other"! Out of 365 days in a year, the above-mentioned occasions (only five or so give or take one or two) are really important enough to her that she's asking for a little extra attention.

No--a bunch of candy (however special) handed to her in a plastic grocery bag doesn't count! Come'on!!!!! They make pretty bags readily available at the dollar stores (and she might even have some in her gift wrapping stash)! Even cheap candy in a pretty bag can make a big difference! And flowers? Fancy bouquets? They're nice but not necessary if you can't afford them. Even a single flower or boquet from the grocery store presented with a little extra drama (tenderness) if you will, will melt her heart and make you a hero!

Of course, fancier more expensive gifts are appreciated as well but ONLY IF THEY'RE GIVEN FROM THE HEART--WITH TENDERNESS AND AFFECTION!!!

And whatever you do, don't charge anything you give her that's specifically for her on a special occasion to a joint credit card account unless you're the one paying the bills! She doesn't want to know what you spent on her! She just wants to know that you took the time to make her feel special on this special day.

Does this make it any clearer guys? No matter how long you've known a woman, on these special occasions treat her as if she's the most important person in the world to you and that you want to continue to spend your life with her! Make her feel special and the rewards might be amazing!

And Ladies: if, indeed, your signficant other actually responds to all the above, let him know you appreciate it and, at the very least, return the favors!

Love and Happiness to all!
Carol