Resentments

Yesterday was very busy!

Beginning w/breakfast with Jeff and Benjamin, pancakes turned otu awful! Think I know why and won't do that again. So sad because I ruined a good recipe.

Then off to see Benjamin graduate to the next level in TaiKwanDo--Tiny Tiger. He's a little slow in his movements but does quite well. The full class demonstration was impressive--gets me thinking what good exercise it is! Maybe I should try some moves??

Then a quick trip to Wal-Mart, Lowes and a stop to attend our reg. Sat. meeting. Got Ralph to chair--think he was flattered and did a good job. Think I saw him square his shoulders a bit! So glad we asked him! He can come off as something of a curmudgeon--but I don't think he means to. Good meeting--lots of talk about relapsers.

Lunch at SouporSalad and home to finish off the oreo cream cheesecakes to take to going away party for Jenn's first employee--a mixed blessing for Jenn. Nice to be included. Lots of good food and a fun game.

Afterwards Jenn's Mom, Angea, came by after spending the day with Benjamin....and not too successfully--related his ungratefulness and complaints to her so now I don't feel like the only one to be put down by him.

After Angea left, Jenn and I had a deep conversation in the parking lot for nearly an hour! One thing revealed--the main thing--is that she thought my was cooking for them was a way of my saying she wasn't taking proper care of her family. when I meant nothing of the sort! I tried to tell her that it was good for me--I like cooking--and we eat better because of it. Also, I expressed my concern for her that SHE doesn't eat as well as she should and was hoping to give her the gift of time by allowing me to help feed her family. There were tears on her part as she revealed that her dad was always critical of her Mom's cooking and often left the house to eat at his mother's in preference to his wife's cooking!

How misunderstood good intentions can be! Here I thought my cooking for them was a gesture of help and she took it as a criticism! Ah, daughter-n-laws! Why must there be this conflicting relationship? Why must we be competitors for our son's/husband's affections?! Is this an age-old thing? I know I'm not alone in this feeling!

To my daughters-in-law: You are now and forever will be the No. 1 woman in my son's life! I lovingly bore him and raised him until he became yours. My love for him did not stop when he married you! Please let me continue to love my son and let that love overflow onto you as he chose you and I respect that choice and know he made it based on the love I gave him all those years before!

I treasure you as a woman who can fullful my son's wants and needs as I want only the best for him. But please don't shut me out entirely. Let me fill in those small gaps that as a busy wife and mother you may not be able to fill--whether that's making his favorite cookie, bringing back good memories of home cooking or making his child a Halloween costume. This is not a competition but rather a partnership to build a firmer family foundation for your children and my grandchildren and hopefully a bond between us as two women whose common goal is the enrichment of our husband's/son's life.

Peace and love,

Carol