Yesterday was a busy day beginning with getting Dad to the hospital by 8 AM for his procedure. When he suggested to his dr. (Dr. Ragu(pathy)! that they add coffee to his intravenous bag, the dr. agreed that they should be working on that! Always nice to have a dr. w/a sense of humor.

As the dr. said, the procedure took less than 10 minutes and he was out in the waiting room fully dressed in business garb with the pictures of Dad's insides. He said everything look normal aside from the irritation from Dad's acid reflux which he's had for some time. For assurance, they did take a couple of biopsies but don't see anything suspicious and Dad should see him in 2 weeks.

After he came to, I went back to the room and helped him dress and we went out for breakfast at Ihop and enjoyed their wonderful harvest grain pancakes along with a good omelet.

After shopping and resting a bit, we went across the street to take care of Jesse's horse while he's away at his brother's funeral. The horse was off in another pasture but we filled his bin with grain and refilled the water trough. Schulties' house has finally sold and we should be getting new neighbors in early November. Hope they're as nice as the former ones!

Made gazpoucho and tried a new recipe from one of the catering mysteries I've been reading--Chicken Sonora. Made with fresh tomatoes, green chilies, garlic, a bit of cumin and onion, sauteed in olive oil and mixed w/shredded chicken, sour cream and cheddar cheese topped with a puffed pastry. I saved out some thighs for Benjamin assuming he might not like the casserole. To my surprise, he announced that he thought that looked pretty good and he wanted some and liked it! So nice he's beginning to expand his horizons!

Earlier I'd found some hot wheels and their garage set-ups from when the boys were younger. I got this out for Benjamin to play with and he LOVED it! I explained to him that our boys played with these things when they were his age at their grandmother's house and now he was playing with them at HIS grandmother's house. Everyone thought that was pretty neat!

Finished--nearly--Iris' costume except for the snaps. Will start on Hannah's today--hopefully it will go faster now that I've been through one and hope to get that all sent out next week some time.

Doing a lot of reflecting these days. Since it's been two years since my last alcoholic drink, things of the past are beginning to come back to me albeit slowly.

When Jordan mentioned arrogance and how he'd hurt Megumi's feelings I couldn't help but think of Dad and how, from the beginning of our marriage -- not our writing -- he thought he was more intelligent than me and started out to change me. Of course, at the time, I had no idea he was trying to do this. I came into the marriage expecting a partnership, although I acknowledged Dad's intelligence and, frankly, thought the fact that he had some education, automatically made him smarter than me. I believed this myth (and so did he) for fully the first quarter + of our marriage.

It left me depressed and feeling inferior even though I took care of the money, ran our home and made all the major decisions--I never felt his equal. I felt empty. The hole began to form.

It was much later that I finally came to realize that although he might be smarter in some technical aspects and has the tools to solve physics problems, in practical ways, he really is no smarter than I am and, in fact, in many respects, my intellect is probably superior.

This is something we're still working on! A discussion yesterday led to a discovery, once again, of how different we are and were from the beginning. Differences shown in the way we approach life--he much more of a romantic--me much more practical. This could be simply because I'm a first born and always had responsibility and because he was raised as an only child where someone always took care of him.

These fundamental differences can account for how we view things--he yearns for "pie in the sky" feeling he deserves it and that by his very yearning it will come to him in due time just by wanting it. I look at the pie and ask what do I have to do to earn it? how bad do I want it? how long will it take to get it? Is it worth the price I have to pay for it? Getting back to how bad do I want it?

Just interesting and a path to walk towards understanding and making the marriage better.

Peace!
Carol