The kids are back in school. In my area, that means an additional 50,000 students are back in town to attend the university here. That means a big change in traffic. And today is an especially big day because it's the first game of the season. So that means hotels will raise their prices and the restaurants will be crowded. Except for that very special time during the game when the town goes peaceful and us "locals" can get out and about--unless we're interested in the game.
Personally, I hate crowds and since the stadium will hold 80,000 people--I'll avoid that area at all costs. It will be a hectic morning for me as we're taking care of a neighbors animals and they will need to be fed before I can fix our own breakfast which today we'll share with our son and grandson. Lemon chocolate chip muffins are on the menu--I like to fix special things when Benjamin comes over. Found out a while back that waffles and pancakes don't impress him nearly as much as homemade muffins and coffee cakes. Who knew?!
And then I want to go to a meeting. And then I want to go to the Tractor Supply store--not a favorite with college kids on game day so it should be fairly "safe"! One of our goats has gotten a little thin and I've been told a nutritional supplement they carry might help her out. Since I've been giving it to her I do think she's picked up a bit of weight.
And then back home. Not sure what I'll do with the rest of the day but since Sabu took over my meditation chair this morning forcing me to choose another spot, it would appear the day may well be filled with changes. Right now, I'm beginning to think maybe I'll tear out the cabinets in my bathroom. I've been threatening to do this for a while--maybe today's the day?
Changing my meditation venue forced me to focus my attention on something else. My eyes rested on the pictures of my beautiful granddaughters and to the right of them, a picture of my handsome grandson. These three wonderful human beings who were not even in my life 15 years ago when I was diagnosed with cancer.
Cancer at age 51 at a time when I'd seriously thought of ending my life. Then my Higher Power stepped in and gave me the opportunity to seriously think about that! Talk about turning things over! That definitely did the trick! Thinking about taking ones own life is one thing; letting something else take it is quite another!
Honestly, at that point, I felt empty but with all the serious thinking I knew I had to do, all I could think of was "ok--what do I do next?".
I never felt I was fighting the cancer--just felt like I was going with the flow of treatment. I got to experience being bald! Losing my hair was quite the trip! Maybe I looked at it differently than some people because I knew it would came back but it was kind of fun--and cold during the coming winter in NW Chicagoland!
Eventually the chemo was over and my hair grew back but I'd found a wonderful peacefulness through it all and realized I might have something to live for after all even though neither of my sons were married at the time and the thought of grandchildren was still very far off.
So, this morning, I have to thank Sabu for taking my chair and allowing me to change and see a different picture this morning. And remember how grateful I am that I've been allowed to live another 15 years and who knows how much longer? But meanwhile, I've experienced the grandchildren I never would have seen had I ended my life 15 yrs. ago.
Peace and love,
Carol
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