Trying to Gently Awaken

The beginning of this new year has been hard on me and I've been trying to analyze the reasons, although I suppose in the long run, it really doesn't matter.

Of course, as always, I did too much over the holidays and that was complicated by long visits by two separate entities which cut into my usual holiday preparations. Sure, they helped around the house and tried to make minimal demands on my time, but overall, they were here and their being here hampered my ability to do things at my own pace. On the other hand, it did help me set deadlines and in some cases, I actually got more done in a more timely manner than I would have without these interruptions.

So what is the problem, really? The more I think about it, the more I think the problem is SUGAR!!! Being an alcoholic, I once relied on alcohol to drown out my sorrows and give me the comfort I felt I needed when I was stressed. Of course, the stress never went away, but I did find oblivion for a brief period of time. Gentle oblivion which I paid for dearly with relentless hangovers which caused me to seek more comfort; i.e., alcohol which would once again send me into oblivion which would, etc., etc., etc.

Well, I no longer drink and so my "solace" is gone but, of course, where there's a void, something else is going to creep in to fill it and the holidays offer many opportunities to fill that void with things that are not normally eaten on a regular basis--especially sugary things. And being the true alcoholic, one (cookie, pc. of candy, whatever) is too much and too much is never enough. It is beyond me to have one pc. of chocolate--I must have the entire bar or bag!

And, I've suffered for it mightily, not only in pounds gained but in attitude lost not to mention physical problems that begin to attend such binges including the headaches and general malaise heretofore attributed to hangovers!

So, what to do? I suppose the reason is obvious yet I truly do not want to face it any more than I wanted to face giving up those wonderful alcoholic beverages. But truth be told, I'm beginning to see that to remain healthy and in the best interests of myself and those I hold dear, sugar in the form of anything extra must be viewed by me in the same light as alcohol. How sad! How much I will miss it! It has been such a wonderful friend and comfort to me over the years! I do not want to do this!

But yet, I feel I must if I'm to live the kind of life I want to live.

Dear readers, please wish me well on this new path devoid of sweets. And encourage me not to stray even at the sweet upcoming holidays rich with temptations. There must be other addictions that are healthier if not tastier and I will try to find them to integrate them into my lifestyle.

Peace!

Carol