I love these girls so much! They are so beautiful! My heart sings when I see them and to hold them in my arms is pure heaven! I am so privileged to be their grandmother!
Chloe did pretty well in puppy class last night. Am going to attempt Pad Thai tonight with Jeff, Jenn and Benjamin. Wish me luck!
Blew it with the airline reservations! Price went up this morning but I'll try again next week. Oftentimes the best time to get the best price is on Mondays. I'll be trying for 12/25-1/3. Meanwhile it might give me an opportunity to discuss the dates w/Jeff and Jenn and see how that works for them.
I HATE my addictive personality! It keeps me from accomplishing so much! I see this in my eating habits and in my on-line gaming! I HATE it! I HATE it! I HATE it! Why do I mindlessly eat and play games accomplishing nothing? For the same reason I drank?! To avoid nothingness? pain? feeling?
I tell myself I'm tired and don't want to think thereby excusing myself from some accomplishment. But once I start eating sweets--I'm off and can't stop! and then my joints ache! And I feel so lousy not to mention the weight gain!
The games are just as bad leaving me numb and without energy. I'm putting myself in the same oblivion I did with my drinking!
Why can't I be more productive?! Why can't I throw myself into doing something creative?!
Instead I dissolve into destructive/mindless behavior that has no merit! I hate that about me!
I've done better in the past. So wish I could turn this around!
Foggy this AM. Will be walking soon and trying to remember my camera to take pics of these wonderful webs. Chloe may be left behind as these walks might be detrimental to her training until she is better trained to walk by our side.
The day should be interesting. Loose ends to tie up. Dad has an appt. to have his carotid artery checked--don't think I need to go with until he gets the results of his test. Time to do a little housekeeping and hope to work on training Chloe.
Until later....good to vent.....maybe it will do some good.
Love and peace.
Carol
2 comments:
Mom, That is a good picture of the girls. I got to get out my camera more often. Iris is about done potty training herself. But she was having a pity party on the potty yesterday when I came home (she had no nap according to Megumi) then she fell asleep. It kills me when I miss out on tickle time.
Good luck on the Pad Thai. If I remember correctly the leftovers aren’t worth much. So I recommend just making what you think you will eat.
On the addictive personality, (hold on while I get on my soap box)
You did the first thing by recognizing it. The next thing is acknowledging it, check.
Now you just have to put those things that are not helpful in their place. Eating is a hard one. We have to eat to live. I have been a kind of compulsive eater in the past but for a long time I just would not buy the stuff that I knew would trigger a food binge. If I don’t have a bag of chips I can’t eat a bag of chips. After a while
I could be around chips without even craving them. Or maybe have a small taste and say I am done. I did this with Pizza last night. My belly was satisfied but my tongue was not. I opted to listen to my belly. Of courts that is not always how it goes but hey, I am a lot better now than I was when I was in Milwaukee, and gained 30#!.
On the online game’s I was a victim of those to. If you can not play them in moderation, and they are a source of stress, and they are competing with other parts of your life with time. Maybe it is time to acknowledge that they have to go. I was able to moderate this in my own life by only playing games online with Megumi, but honestly I would rather sit down at a table and play chess.
Do not avoid “nothingness” embrace it. It is where your creativity and intuition comes from. Pain is telling you something is not right. Feeling is not to be avoided.
(Stepping off soap box)
Looking forward to seeing pics of the wonderful webs!
I may steel them for my own blog!
Keep us posted on dad’s results.
Love
Jordan
Hi Jordan!
Dad is fine--nothing found in the carotid artery to cause concern.
Thanks for the counsel. I need that and know you know where I'm coming from!
I'll post the pictures I took this AM now. Not as good as I'd hoped. Sun didn't come out until we were almost finished and one picture apparently didn't "take". I'll try again when we walk on Friday.
Love,
Mom
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